(At the hospital)

Ava: (gasps) SOMEONE LEFT A KIT-KAT HERE!

Me: AVA!

Me: …is it wrapped?

Ava: (sing-song voice) It’s HALF-wrapped!!

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Ava: Fuck you, adversity.

Ava: Aidan, what was your wish?

Aidan: I wish for my school to burn down.

Negin: That’s a horrible wish.

Aidan: NO! Mom! Here’s the good thing about my wish, it benefits everybody.